All I Wanted
by AKnottyHooker
Summary: When the world is in danger, who do you call? The Rekai Tentai of course. At this rate, how is anyone supposed to lead a normal life? In the midst of all that, can love still find a way? And when is Yusuke gonna propose already?


**Disclaimer: If I owned them, do you think I would be writing shameless fanfiction? (;**

**A/N: Phew, it's been a while since I've posted anything publically! Yu Yu Hakusho is my first love and my favorite fandom, despite the lack of stories. Being an older anime is hard. I know as far as OC's go, I'm relatively picky but there have been some really good ones that have inspired me to write my own. I can only hope you all agree. The rating on this is M and I haven't entirely decided how much into detail that will entail. I guess you guys can tell me your thoughts if you like the story? **

**This is 100% un-beta'd! So sorry if there are any mistakes I might have missed. Also, I will likely change perspectives a lot. I hope that doesn't bother anyone. I promise it will always flow. Anyway, on to the first chapter! **

Even if I had a thousand years to forget, I suppose I never would. Anymore, everything had become a constant reminder. When I slept I dreamt of him; his face, his smell. He was only six… I opened my eyes forcefully, pulled from the void where I could never escape. Sometimes I think I'd like to stay there…

"Nightmare?"

"Jesus fucking Christ!" My heart beat frantically and so loud I was positive he could hear it from across the room. "What are you doing here, Yusuke?" And even more importantly, "how did you get into my apartment?"

He glanced over at the open window as if it should have been obvious by now. I cursed under my breath –something about disrespectful demons- and glared at him through narrow eyes.

"I heard that," he ground out.

"Good!" I pulled the covers up closer around myself, clad only in a simple white wife beater and, -typical- no bra. The open window cooled my room down and my nipples were expressing their discomfort.

He let out an undignified snort, "please, Georgie, as if your body excites me." He rolled off my dresser and moved to sit beside me in bed. "Look, it's like this—"

"Stop," I interrupted. "As your friend I'm going to tell you that Keiko loves you and no matter what stupid thing you managed to do this time, she's going to forgive you. As a concerned citizen I should advise you that breaking and entering is frowned upon in this society. Don't be that guy."

"Funny," he admonished, clapping me on the back none too lightly before pulling a black box from his jean pocket.

"Oh, and here I thought you were just excited to see me!" I joked, snatching the box from his pliant fingers. I opened it greedily and swooned. I'm a woman. I like diamonds. Sue me. "Yusuke, it's beautiful!"

He hurriedly took the box back and closed it with a snap. "Calm yourself, Gollum. It's not for you." I feigned disappointment. "You really think she'll like it?"

I smiled at him then, because at this moment I was experiencing a side of Yusuke I rarely ever did. He was a demon at heart, but inside he would always retain his human tendencies and it was one of the things that made him special. He reminded me of something I once had. "Yusuke, I think she'll love it. But why you felt inclined to ask me this at two thirty in the morning is beyond me."

"I needed to be sure," he answered.

I nodded. "Well, can I go back to sleep now? You're not going to ask me if you look pretty are you, because I'll be honest; I really am a terrible liar."

I barely dodged the throw pillow aimed at my head and he was gone before it hit the bed.

oOo

"You killed my baby!" I opened my eyes quickly, disoriented and surrounded by utter darkness. I retrieved my cell phone from beneath my pillow and allowed it to illuminate my surroundings. It was just past two, and I'd been asleep for almost two hours. I wasn't much worried about that as I adjusted my scrubs and pulled my long, rather tangled curly locks into a messy ponytail. I swiftly opened the on call room door, and the sound of sobbing instantly flooded my senses. I set a fast pace down the hall, to the woman sobbing on the floor. Kneeling beside her, Yukina was rubbing her hair and attempting to console her. Our eyes met across the room, and I could see the desperation in them.

I settled down next to the woman, and gently touched her shoulder. I had to bit my lip from crying out. So much guilt and sadness, it was almost too much for me, but when the young woman finally looked over at me, the last of her tears falling down her face, I managed to compose myself at the last second. "It's okay now, Mrs. Hatakana." I forced out as easily as I could. "You're going to go say your goodbyes to your son now. Take all the time you need." I glanced down toward her wedding ring. "I will have someone contact your husband right away. Is that okay?"

The woman nodded her head numbly and agreed with a soft, "yes." I released her, trying to hide the fact that my hand was trembling and gave the warmest smile I could muster. On the inside I felt like I was being ripped apart. My heart clenched painfully, my head was throbbing and if I allowed myself to focus on it all I would break down right here and right now. Yukina quickly grabbed my arm once the woman was out of sight and pulled me into the bathroom, shoving me into the closest stall and locking the door behind us. I fell gracelessly to my knees, shoved my face into my hands and cried loudly.

How one woman could carry so much pain with her was beyond me and I hadn't even taken it all. Yukina was rubbing soothing circles on my back, but her touch burned me, painful tingles jolting me back to the painful memories I wish I had never seen. "I'm so sorry, Georgie. I didn't realize it would be like this…" And I knew she was sincere. No one had ever really witnessed the extent of my power. I was a guarded person and I was good at blocking it out. I used it on rare occasions, but it was taxing on my body and almost always drained me.

Eventually, I was all cried out, and the cold tile on the bathroom floor was soothing in an odd way. Right now all I wanted to do was sleep, but my shift wasn't over for another three hours. I could only hope the ER would be kind to me after this. Yukina stayed with me the whole time, letting the silence wash over us because what could she say? By the time I was ready to leave it was reluctantly. I'd managed to block out the emotional pain, but the physical exertion was leaving me feeling hollow. And at nearly three in the morning I was reminded that I hadn't eaten in nearly twelve hours.

Food had my stomach churning in knots. "Do you need to go home?" Yukina asked as we walked the busy corridor to the cafeteria.

"No," I quickly blurt out. Right now I needed the busy of the hospital, even though my body was demanding sleep. "Thank you though." She smiled at me kindly then, and I had a moment to admire her. She was everything I hoped to be. Kind and selfless, loving and loyal; in many ways she and Hiei were exactly alike. I doubt he took much stock in this and far be it from me to point them out. I was close to Hiei by default because I was close to Kurama, but I cared for them both the same.

In an instant I was reminded why Yukina and I would always remain different. I could never have what she has: a love like Kuwabara. It might have been unsettling had I not considered it many times and always stumbled to the same conclusion. I loved two people, both unique and wholly different. I kept my distance because choosing was impossible.

Her petite hand reached out to brush my shoulder as she brought me an OJ and a small muffin. Not sure how she always understood what I needed, but I never questioned it. I thanked her silently and picked at my food. It wasn't long before our beepers were vibrating, reminding us that our job was never quite done.

And when I left the cafeteria it was lighter then when I entered: the memories of an eight year old boy, swinging on the tire swing in his backyard, a huge smile on his face; a simple reminder that the world can be cruel, but its beauty would always remain.

oOo

I hastily opened the door to my apartment. From my room I could hear my dog bounding off my bed, happy to see me but anxious all the same. I braced myself against the door as he stood to his hind legs and placed sloppy kisses all over my face. I giggled despite it before gently shoving the beast away. "Down, Tank," I chided softly, grabbing the leash from its hook beside the door. Kurama had no doubt been by to walk him on his way to work this morning, but it never hurt to be safe. Besides, I had a feeling that sleep wouldn't come easy this morning.

As usual, Tank had frolicked happily in the woods directly behind my apartment. Easily amused, chasing the squirrels and scaring my neighbors Chihuahua. My big Leonberger looked fierce but he was a gentle giant. Seriously. He once helped a robber unlock my front door. Thankfully, once the crook had seen him, he'd taken off down the hall, Tank bounding after him playfully. The story was funny now, but then it had been irritating. I'd invested in a second door bolt per Kurama's suggestion –though it sounded more like a demand-.

Perhaps I needed to invest in window locks…

When I was finally able to drag Tank back inside, the morning sun was bright in the sky, heating the world around it nicely. My answering machine was flashing at me annoyingly.

"Georgie! It's Keiko, I'm sure you're working but I just wanted to remind you –Yusuke, you jerk!-" There was a loud thump and a series of laughs before, "to remind you that Kuwabara's birthday party is tonight! At the restaurant; I'm thinking 6 o'clock! See you there!"

On one hand, I was glad she reminded me as I had forgotten all about it. On the other, I was a little disappointed. My only day off was tomorrow and no doubt I would be out all night tonight. I suppose there were worse ways to spend my time, but I'd been trying to avoid certain people and…well, I guess I just needed to suck it up.

I made myself a bowl of cereal and forced myself to eat it before removing my shoes, still clad in my scrubs, and falling forward on my face into my bed. I was wrong; sleep consumed me quickly.

oOo

I took a moment to admire myself in the mirror. A couple months back I'd snagged a simple crème party dress for a medical event in Hakone. I'd fallen ill just before and never got to wear it. Tonight was as good an excuse as any, but now that it was on I felt a little self-conscious. It hugged my curves in all the right places, and my breasts were definitely big enough to wear it without a bra and even help secure it tightly despite it being strapless. Maybe that was the problem, I thought. I'd donned a pair of simple nude wedges. But my hair…it fell down to my waist, the curly ginger locks making the crème color pop and my face look paler than usual.

I glanced at the clock and grimaced. I didn't have time to change now and what little makeup I did manage would just have to do. I quickly wiped the small smudge of mascara from below my eye and blinked a couple times. This would just have to do. I pulled the most important items from my purse and transferred them to my wristlet clutch.

Kurama was the last person I expected to see when I flung my apartment door open. I'd nearly run him over and probably would have if he didn't have such a steady hand. "Kurama?" He smiled at me, that dazzling smile. It was fucking disarming and I could already feel my face heating up. "I—I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting you?" It was a question as much as it was a statement. I took a step away, back in the safety of my apartment.

"I called but you didn't answer." He did? I pulled my phone from my clutch and sure enough, missed call. "I thought we could ride together, if that's okay?"

Even if it hadn't been I didn't have a choice now. Somehow I think that's what he intended. He was kind enough to walk my dog when I worked the night shift at the hospital, but I'd been avoiding him for the last few days. It was obvious and now looking at him, I felt bad.

"Okay," I finally agreed, calling out one last goodbye to Tank before closing up my apartment and locking it. He offered me his arm, and as much as I wanted to resist his charm, it was too late.

He'd seduced me without even touching me.

I know I've already lost.


End file.
